Building a Better Geek
Welcome to Building a Better Geek, where we explore the intersection of technology, psychology and well-being. For high-functioning introverts finding an audience - if you like humans at least as much as machines - if you want to go deep on leadership, communication and all the things that go into building you. Emmanuella Grace is a communication coach and consultant, working with individuals and organisations to develop and strengthen the skills of voice and communication. Craig is an experienced Technologist and Leader. Connect with us using the details below.
Episodes

4 days ago
4 days ago
In this thought-provoking episode, hosts Em and Craig tackle the complex concept of "truth finding" in the modern digital age, exploring how technology and AI have transformed our ability to discern fact from fiction.
Key Discussion Points:
Subjective vs. Objective Truth: The hosts explore the tension between objective facts and subjective perceptions of truth. Em notes that what was once considered "fact" (like the Earth being flat) can later be disproven, highlighting how truth evolves with knowledge.
Empiricism vs. Theory: Craig identifies as an empiricist, focusing on observable outcomes rather than theoretical explanations, while Em prefers understanding the underlying mechanisms. They discuss how both approaches have value in truth-seeking.
Technology's Impact on Truth: The hosts examine how AI, algorithms, and social media have created filter bubbles that shape and sometimes distort our perception of reality. Em references the "Amber Heard case" as an example of how online mob mentality and bots can manipulate public perception of truth.
Trust Markers: Craig explains his process for finding trustworthy voices online, noting he looks for people who demonstrate curiosity, flexibility, accountability, and willingness to change their mind when facts change. They discuss how putting one's name to information adds accountability.
Media Transformations: The discussion covers how traditional media with editorial standards is being replaced by faster, less rigorous social platforms, accelerating both information flow and misinformation. They note how careers and reputations can be destroyed almost instantly before the truth can be established.
Human Connection: Em emphasizes that despite technological advances, the most valuable tool for truth-finding remains "robust, candid conversations between people that you trust," suggesting that human connection provides a level of critical inquiry that machines cannot.
Biases and System Thinking: The hosts reference Daniel Kahneman's work on "fast" (intuitive) versus "slow" (analytical) thinking systems, discussing how being aware of our cognitive biases helps us better evaluate truth claims.
Psychological Safety: Both hosts stress the importance of creating environments where people can safely question assumptions and explore ideas without fear of punishment, noting that punitive approaches to open inquiry can silence important truths.
Resource Recommendations:
"The Righteous Mind" by Jonathan Haidt
"Thinking Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman
The therapeutic concept of questioning "Is this a fact? Is this true?" to interrupt emotional pattern responses
Socratic questioning as a method for deeper inquiry

Monday Mar 31, 2025
Monday Mar 31, 2025
OK Boomer, OK Zoomer: hosts Em and Craig look at solving the Workplace Generation Puzzle, examining how different generational experiences shape values, communication styles, and workplace expectations.
Key Discussion Points:
Four Generations in the Workforce: Em explains that for the first time, we have four generations simultaneously in the workplace (Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z), each with different value systems and communication preferences, causing previously successful workplace programs to fail.
Generational Overview: The hosts provide a historical context of generations:
Silent Generation (1920s-1945): Conformist, compliant, strong work ethic
Baby Boomers (1946-1964): Adapted to digital revolution, valued gift of gab
Generation X (1965-1980): Independent, pragmatic, bridged analog-digital divide
Millennials/Gen Y (1981-1996): Digital natives, collaborative
Gen Z/iGen (1997-2010): Visual learners, social media natives
Alpha Generation (2010-present): Future-focused, already emerging through social media
Technological Evolution: Craig shares how Gen X witnessed tremendous technological changes, from analog television to digital media, and how this shapes communication preferences. Em notes how modern recording technology that once required expensive equipment is now available on smartphones.
Communication Medium Preferences: The hosts discuss how different generations prefer different communication methods, with Gen Z often anxious about phone calls while older generations value them. Craig suggests younger people might stand out positively by calling rather than texting.
Psychological Impacts: Em highlights the "spotlight effect" where teenagers feel all eyes are on them, but explains how social media has amplified this for younger generations by making this surveillance real and constant, contributing to mental health challenges.
Generational Tensions: The hosts acknowledge the resentment between generations, with younger people frustrated about housing affordability, environmental issues, and economic challenges while older generations criticize work ethic and respect for authority.
Finding Common Ground: Despite different expressions, all generations share fundamental human desires for validation, appreciation, respect, and belonging. Em emphasizes that finding this common humanity is essential for workplace harmony.
Crisis as Unifier: Craig references "The Fourth Turning" by Neil Howe, noting how crises like World War II or the early COVID-19 pandemic forced people to come together across generational divides.
Resource Recommendations:
"Gen Intelligence: The Revolutionary Approach to Leading an Intergenerational Workforce" by Megan Gerhardt, Josephine Harm, and Jeanne Fogle
"Conversations Between Generations" TED Talk by Vona Turla
"Remarkable People" podcast by Guy Kawasaki, specifically the interview with David Yeager on "The Science of Motivating Young People"
"Multi-Generational Workplace: The Insights You Need" from Harvard Business Review

Monday Mar 24, 2025
Overcoming Skill Issues: Are You Being Nice Or Kind?
Monday Mar 24, 2025
Monday Mar 24, 2025
In this episode, hosts Em and Craig explore the important distinction between being "nice" versus being "kind" in workplace and personal interactions, examining how these approaches impact relationships and communication effectiveness.
Key Discussion Points:
Defining Nice vs. Kind: Em describes "nice" as bland, safer, and more palatable but potentially insincere, while "kind" involves honesty and authenticity that may sometimes be uncomfortable but ultimately serves others better.
Toxic Positivity: The hosts discuss how workplace cultures that prioritize "nice" communication can evolve into toxic positivity, where difficult but necessary conversations get shut down because they aren't "nice," even when honesty would be the kindest approach.
David Yeager's Matrix: Em shares insights from Yeager's book "10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People," which presents a matrix of leadership styles based on levels of support and standards:
High standards + High support = Mentorship (ideal)
High standards + Low support = Enforcer (potential bullying)
Low standards + High support = Protector (undermines growth)
Low standards + Low support = Apathetic (disengaged)
Radical Candor/Honesty: Craig introduces the concept of "radical candor" as a communication approach that values honest feedback delivered with care. Em notes she practices this herself, establishing early in relationships that she'll be direct, which serves as a filter for compatibility.
Feedback Role-Play: The hosts demonstrate effective feedback techniques through a role-play scenario where Em (as manager) addresses Craig's work attendance issues while maintaining psychological safety, showing curiosity rather than judgment, and focusing on objective observations.
Building Psychological Safety: The conversation emphasizes how kindness creates psychological safety for difficult conversations, while "niceness" can mask festering problems that eventually surface in more damaging ways.
Practice Makes Perfect: Em stresses the importance of practicing difficult conversations before high-stakes moments, suggesting people write down and rehearse boundary-setting phrases to build confidence.
Key Takeaways:
True kindness involves holding high standards while providing high support
Psychological safety is essential for honest feedback
Practice difficult conversations in low-stakes environments
Leaders should model accountability by acknowledging their own mistakes
The "nicest" approach isn't always the kindest one

Monday Mar 17, 2025
Circuit breaker: powerful ideas for neutralising bullies in the work place
Monday Mar 17, 2025
Monday Mar 17, 2025
In this episode, hosts Em and Craig tackle the serious topic of workplace bullying, exploring its definition, causes, and strategies for addressing it in modern work environments.
Key Discussion Points:
Generational Workplace Dynamics: Em explains how having four generations in the workplace (Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z) creates communication challenges, with each generation having different expectations about hierarchy, collaboration, and workplace behavior.
Defining Bullying: Craig shares the technical definition of bullying as "repeated and unreasonable behavior that poses a risk to health and safety," while Em emphasizes that bullying fundamentally involves power imbalances being used to harm others.
Attachment Theory and Bullying: Em explains how early childhood attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized) influence how people respond to bullying. Those with secure attachment are more likely to disengage from bullying situations, while those with other attachment styles may fawn, fight back, or respond inconsistently.
Distinguishing Bullying from Miscommunication: The hosts discuss the challenge of differentiating between intentional bullying and communication issues that may stem from neurodiversity or personality differences, noting that sometimes personalities simply don't mesh well.
Psychological Aspects: They explore how bullies often use subtle tactics that confuse victims, such as the "smiling assassin" approach where aggressive behavior is masked with friendly demeanor, making targets question their own perceptions.
HR's Role: The hosts highlight the importance of human resources departments in providing objective third-party perspectives to mediate conflicts and establish clear procedures for reporting and addressing bullying.
Practical Strategies: For organizations, establishing clear anti-bullying policies and procedures is essential. For individuals, developing strong personal boundaries and recognizing unhealthy dynamics are crucial self-protection skills.
Future Considerations: The conversation touches on cyberbullying and the challenges of addressing anonymous digital harassment, with Em sharing her personal experience of being targeted online.
Resource Recommendations:
"Emotional Blackmail" by Dr. Susan Forward for understanding unhealthy relationship dynamics
"Games People Play" for recognizing interpersonal manipulation patterns
David Yeager's "10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People" which explores how high standards and high support affect interactions between managers and younger staff

Monday Mar 10, 2025
What makes you special? How AI is revolutionising inter-human communication.
Monday Mar 10, 2025
Monday Mar 10, 2025
In this episode, hosts Em and Craig discuss the intersection of AI and human communication, exploring how AI is transforming the workplace while emphasising the enduring value of human connection.
Key Discussion Points:
AI as a Tool, Not a Replacement: Craig frames AI not as true intelligence but as "engineered collaboration at scale" that helps distill knowledge from across the internet. He suggests AI works best as a "first draft fairy" that helps overcome creative blocks.
Practical Applications: Craig shares examples of using AI tools like Claude to prepare interview questions and simplify complex technical concepts. Em discusses how AI could help prepare panel discussion questions.
Bias and Transparency Concerns: The hosts debate whether AI models can be biased based on their training data. Craig explains that different countries are developing their own AI models to reflect their cultural contexts, similar to how media outlets have political leanings.
The Value of Human Connection: Em emphasises that AI cannot fully replace human interaction, especially in areas requiring emotional intelligence, body language interpretation, and genuine connection. They discuss how human fallibility and authenticity are becoming more valued in contrast to AI's perfection.
Academic and Creative Impacts: They discuss university policies being developed to detect AI-generated content in student work. Em voices concerns about creative professions becoming obsolete while acknowledging that adaptation is necessary.
Prompt Engineering: Craig explains how learning to communicate effectively with AI through "prompt engineering" can maximise its usefulness, including providing context about audience and format.
Resource Recommendations:
Experiment with AI tools like Claude AI, ChatGPT, and Perplexity with a curious mindset
Learn prompt engineering techniques to better communicate with AI
"Clara and the Sun" by Kazuo Ishiguro - A novel exploring AI and humanity integration
"The Psychology of Artificial Intelligence" by Tony Prescott
Simon Wardley's essay on the dangers of creating a "new priesthood" of AI developers who control what information goes into models

Monday Mar 03, 2025
Amazing facts you didn't know about tech and diversity: Crash test dummies
Monday Mar 03, 2025
Monday Mar 03, 2025
In this season opener, hosts Em and Craig explore gender dynamics in tech, focusing on women's unique challenges with imposter syndrome, funding disparities, and opportunities in an evolving industry that increasingly needs diverse perspectives.
Gender Differences in the Workplace: They explore how women often need to feel 94% qualified before applying for jobs, while men apply at around 60%. Em notes that imposter syndrome is more prevalent among women, while men tend to experience more shame after failure.
Femtech Industry: They discuss the growing field of women's health technology, highlighting how the period-tracking app Flow (founded by two brothers) recently achieved unicorn status, raising questions about female representation in tech leadership.
Funding Disparities: The hosts examine why female-founded tech companies, despite often having higher ROI, receive less funding than male-founded counterparts. They suggest this may partly stem from women's hesitancy to directly ask for what they want, compared to men's greater directness and sense of entitlement.
Opportunities for Women in Tech: Craig highlights that tech companies actively seek female talent and suggests entry paths including project management and relationship-oriented roles. They discuss how technology now intersects with nearly every industry, creating diverse opportunities beyond traditional technical roles.
Challenges in Male-Dominated Workplaces: They address the pitfall of organisations over-indexing on showcasing diversity, which can lead to women being overloaded with public-facing opportunities and experiencing burnout.
Featured Resources:
The Imperfects podcast episode "Maybe It's Menopause" with Dr. Louise Newson
"The Confidence Code" by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay
Hero of the Week:
Volvo Cars for their EVA initiative, which researches safety for all body types (not just adult males) and shares this data openly with all car manufacturers, similar to how they previously shared seatbelt technology.

Monday Apr 22, 2024
Monday Apr 22, 2024
In this episode we discussed the importance of setting boundaries and effective time management, particularly for people working in the tech industry and introverts.
- Establishing personal values, priorities, and understanding the difference between organisational and individual goals is crucial.
- Boundaries are not about building walls or saying "no," but rather about creating psychological safety and empowering others to express their needs.
- The episode highlights the challenges of dealing with "toxic" people who lack empathy, and provides strategies for navigating such situations: - Avoiding engagement, maintaining a paper trail, and self-care. - Staying focused on the goals; not getting sidetracked. - Framing tasks and responsibilities in a way that gives them meaning and purpose. - Practicing weekly and daily planning, and "do, delegate, or ditch". - Getting comfortable with discomfort and having difficult conversations.
- The discussion emphasises the need for leaders to create an environment where employees feel empowered to express their boundaries.
References and Links:
- Gillespie, David. Toxic at Work. HarperCollins, 2023.- Gillespie, David. Taming Toxic People. Penguin Random House, 2017.- Kerr, James. Legacy: What the All Blacks Can Teach Us About the Business of Life. Constable, 2013.- Stone, Douglas, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Penguin Books, 2010.

Monday Feb 26, 2024
Monday Feb 26, 2024
In this episode we discuss the impact of artificial intelligence (AI), specifically large language models, on various aspects of human life. We explore the impact on leaders and creatives, delving into the potential benefits and challenges of AI. Here are the key points:
• AI's rapid advancement and democratisation raise concerns about privacy, security, and accountability.• Large language models can be trained on vast amounts of data, potentially including personal information without consent.• Explainability and transparency are crucial for AI models used in high-stakes decision-making, such as loan approvals.• Guardrails and fine-tuning can be applied to AI models to align them with specific use cases and ethical considerations.• AI's ability to generate human-like content raises concerns about authenticity, creativity, and the potential for model collapse due to a lack of new input.• Children growing up with AI may develop a natural understanding of its capabilities and limitations, potentially using it as a coaching tool.• Involving humans in the loop is essential to verify AI outputs and ensure they align with human values and priorities.• Experimentation with AI in low-risk environments can help individuals and organizations understand its potential and limitations.
References Mentioned:• Polis (AI project by Audrey Tang)• Mark Andreessen (Netscape co-founder) on Joe Rogan's podcast

Connect with us
Emmanuella Grace is a communication coach and consultant, working with individuals and organisations to develop and strengthen the skills of voice and communication. Find out more at Find Your Voice.
Connect with Craig at: linkedin.com/in/craiglawton
Disclaimer
The contents of this website are for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All commentary on this site is ours.